Living by your personal values sounds easy—at least in theory. Your values, after all, are simply the things that are important to you in life, so it should be natural to live by them.
And yet so many of us don’t consistently live by our values. Have you ever been in any of these situations?
Someone said or did something that you strongly disagreed with, but you didn’t speak up about it and felt ashamed afterward.
You set goals for yourself and then failed to meet them.
Your life or career hasn’t worked out the way you wanted them to.
What you want often clashes with what you’ve got to do or what’s “practical.”
You’re so busy pleasing other people that you’re not even sure what your own true values are.
If any of these resonate with you, then this tutorial will help you. In it, you’ll learn what personal values are and why they’re important. Then we’ll go through all the steps involved in defining and prioritizing your values, changing them as necessary, and living by them so that your actions are aligned with your values.
When you live by your values, you feel better about yourself and are more focused on doing the things that are important to you.
Personal values are the things that are important to us, the characteristics and behaviors that motivate us and guide our decisions.
For example, maybe you value honesty. You believe in being honest wherever possible and you think it’s important to say what you really think. When you don’t speak your mind, you probably feel disappointed in yourself.
Or maybe you value kindness. You jump at the chance to help other people, and you’re generous in giving your time and resources to worthy causes or to friends and family.
Those are just two examples of personal values out of many. Everyone has their own personal values, and they can be quite different. Some people are competitive, while others value cooperation. Some people value adventure, while others prefer security.
Values matter because you’re likely to feel better if you’re living according to your values and to feel worse if you don’t. This applies both to day-to-day decisions and to larger life choices.
If you value adventure, for example, you’ll probably feel stifled if you let yourself be pressured by parents or others into making “safe” choices like a stable office job and a settled home life. For you, a career that involves travel, starting your own business, or other opportunities for risk and adventure may be more appropriate.
On the other hand, if you value security, the opposite applies. What some people would view as a “dream” opportunity to travel the world and be your own boss may leave you feeling insecure and craving a more settled existence.
Everybody is different, and what makes one person happy may leave another person feeling anxious or disengaged. Defining your personal values and then living by them can help you to feel more fulfilled and to make choices that make you happy, even if they don’t make sense to other people.
